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somegirl
Starting Member
USA
3 Posts |
 Posted - 04 Jul 2003 : 1:11:28 PM
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hey, first off... i was born with a cleft lip... that's how i got into this site... i was just doing a little research on it, it bothers me everyday knowing i was born with a cleft... it sucks, i'm fifteen and a half.. its not that obvious my scar... most people have never even noticed for all the years they've known me.. but sometimes i ask god why me.. out of all people.. i dont WANT to sound conceited but i think i'm a pretty girl.. if it weren't for this cleft lip i was born with... i think i'd be PERFECT... but my nostrils arent even.. it sucks soo much... my teeth arent that straight.. but theyre not that noticable either... i can't smile, i've been holding it in for the longest time. it's so sad how my parents never even explained what happened to me. and what's also sad, they've never even discussed about fixing it. it isnt fair.. if god was to create me a cleft.. he should have made me COMPLETELY ugly. but i'm not. i'm so insecure about my scar.. although it isnt that noticable.. i just feel the need to talk to somebody about it. theres no one out there really, no one that would understand me atleast... besides, i wouldnt really feel comfortable tlaking about it. it just bothers me so much. everyday i just want to cry, but then i realize how lucky i am that i'm living, and that i wasn't born blind or anything like that... well, thats it i guess... i'd like to see what u others have to say... thanks for reading this if u actually did.. |
-somegirl |
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laurgro15
New Member
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 08 Jul 2003 : 03:45:33 AM
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dear somegirl,
hey i'm about ur age, i just turned 15, i was born w/a unilateral cleft lip n palate, i kno what you mean about the people not noticing, hardly anyone ever asks me about it, i'm not sure if they chose not to, don't really care, or just dont want to be rude, i think everyone asks "why me" sometimes, i do it too...sometimes i think the same about myself, maybe i'd be perfect if i hadn't had a cleft, if my teeth were straight, my lip normal n same w/my nose, but why think so much on IF u were born this way or that way, i mean ur like this for a reason...and also NO ONE is perfect, so if u dind't have a cleft, u'd have somethin else i mean it's give or take, oh and how can u NOT smile? i mean yeah ur different and you might not be perfect but come on girl ppl'll think ur depressed if ya dont smile sometimes!!  and think about what u said, u'd rather be completely ugly? i would never wish that on myself i mean sure you can and all i'm not tryin to be critical it's jsut that, yeah it could b worse but do u REALLY want it to? like when u think about it, could u honestly stand to be "uglier", i can tell ur having a tough with what ya got, i'm here to talk to, you can email me ANY time u need it or u feel down, i kno it feels like there is no one that u kno that u can relate to, but we are close n age n i think it would be cool if ya needed someone to talk to, i'm always all ears, the more u come to terms with it urself the more comfortable u will be talkin about it w/other ppl, i think now that we are older, it's easier then it used to be, considering i understand what happened to me,you ARE lucky to be living, and ur lucky that ur teeth are straight and ur NOT blind, hunnie u gotta think on the positive side, u said it urself, u are a pretty girl, besides the cleft, maybe focus on that more..it always helped me, lol i envy ur almost perfect teeth, lots of ppl w/clefts dont have that, i've been in braces for 7 years and counting, had lots of dental surgeries done n i'm still on my way to gettin straight teeth, i'll be gettin a jaw surgery in a few years too, now my nose isn't too bad, i mean yeah so it's not normal but i'm okay with that, it IS unique, well this is really long so i'm gonna stop  u can email me any time, same for anyone else who might read this,
--lauren |
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dublinlad
Starting Member
Ireland
3 Posts |
Posted - 17 Apr 2004 : 5:47:14 PM
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| what you should really do is not care about what other people say in your own way you are beautiful and no-one can say the opposite always look on the bright side of life |
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cleft_chloe_and_proud
Starting Member
United Kingdom
5 Posts |
Posted - 14 Oct 2004 : 4:14:32 PM
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hiya i just read urs and im rele stuk coz every1 where i live always notices it and especially coz i m going 2 an all girls skool there all *****y now i am 13 and ive had the same image 4 about 4 and half years but now every1 has gt used 2 me looking like this i dnt wnt 2 change till i gt bout 19 i swear so plz god let me stay lke this untill i get out of secondary skool plz if n e 1 else has or is expericencing this then plz reply xxx or email me my hotmail addy is chloeisanangel@hotmail.com xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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C.P.Hodgson |
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cleft_lip_palate_chick
Starting Member
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 10 Jan 2006 : 6:01:42 PM
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I am 18 years old and in college right now. My name is Rebecca and I was born with a cleft lip and palate. I had both which is worse, believe me. I have had at least sevn surgeries, sometimes I lose count. I am still haveing my teeth worked on and because of the way my mouth was made I am going to have at least one more surgery if not more. I like you can't smile withmy teeth it's not that I don't want to but when I try my teeth are covered by my mouth and so it looks like I ave no teeth so since forever I have smiled without it and many people have told me I have a nice smile even people I don't know. When I was in middle school I was teased and it hurt, but when I got to high school I became my own person and became this confident happy person who loves the world. I am so loud and talkative and goofy now, I dont' care if people think I'm silly because I love life and myself.
I don't know if you are religious or not but I got saved when I was ten. I didn't really live ofr the Lord or anything until I got in high school, because I like you kept asking "why me God?" I was angry with him. But then I woke up and realized God made me this way for a reason, I believe it was for me to tell others my story to give them hope and encouragement and to let people who have clefts know that it isn't as bad as it seems. A verse that I love that I feels relates to the situation us with birth defects has is, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14-15
When I start to feel sorry for myself or question why I was made this way I look at this verse and it makes me smile because in God's eyes we were perfect and he doesnt' makes mistakes. Now nobody on Earth is perfect, we can wish and hope but truthfully we aren't. You said that not many people ask about you birth defect, I used to get stared down because kids were so curious and that hurt, because I would rather someone come up to me and ask what happened then stare at me like I'm an alien. You know? you can barely tell with me anymore my scar, but even sometimes (even with a little make-up) people still notice and ask me and I embrace it and tell them. I don't want to sound conceeded but I believe God gave me the gift to speak and to act. Which is funny because I had to have speech therapy from the time I was 3-13 yrs. old and I used to be shy. Now, stick me in front of people and I don't even flinch.
So, I just wanted you to know that some of us know what you are going through and it's okay to feel that way, but you are special in God's eyes and you were made that way for a special reason. Don't hate it, embrace it. My e-mail is quebeccann2005@yahoo.com I know you posted this quite awhile but I would like to hear from you. I don't know many people who have what I have, if you e-mail me maybe next time I could e-mail you a pic of how I looked when I was a baby and how I look now.
God bless,
Rebecca
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Rebecca |
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andrew
Starting Member
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jan 2010 : 07:48:26 AM
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| i feel the same way. Whenever i got depressed about my cleft (still do), i would blame and question God. Its not that im bad looking either, in fact lots of girls at my school have told me i look good but im still insecure. I hate getting my picture taken because i look different in the photograph than what i see in the mirror. I hate talking to people when they are really close cause i cant help but feel that they are just starting at my cleft. and i hate why i cant just be happy but its like you said, at least im not blind or anything. |
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Emmie
Starting Member
Ireland
3 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2010 : 11:58:03 PM
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I think it gets easier the older you are. I am almost 24, and many times forget that i was born with a cleft palate. However i think what type of cleft you have definitely affects how you feel, the more noticeable it is/was or how your speech is now. Although one would never know to look at me (except for a small chin and mouth)that i was born any differently, i still have a lisp that bothers me, especially in professional settings such as interviews etc. But what helps me through is to think of other people i know, who have achieved so much and done so well in life, but that have speech problems or other birth deficits. If they can do it, so can i, and so can YOU.
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Emma |
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dave_ie
Starting Member
4 Posts |
Posted - 28 Feb 2010 : 12:43:23 AM
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Well people that i talked to, often say Why me. But the fact of the matter is your just not the only person out their, in fact you are one of the lucky ones, who are born with deficits. Look at people who are born with Cleft that are from 3rd World Country's they don't have what we have in Ireland free care for people with Cleft, and the only way for them to get treated is from people who are from Richer Country's,
All i saw to people don't over worry about things in life. Every thing happens of a Reason good or bad, We call it "Karma" Every thing in live happens from your Actions in Life.
Wining the Lotto can be a good thing or a bad thing some people think its luck, i call it Karma for some winning the Lotto is HELL others a Second change in Life.
Same goes for peoples Cleft how you take from it and what it brings to you in life is your Karma. yes Childhood is Hard very hard. but kids will be kids,
Emmie, i would say to you from what i was reading from your post is maybe from your lisp that you have, you should'nt worry about it as much. maybe in your Professional life setting is giving you a hard time, but just look at how people in the 40's who never got a chance to get their palate fixed, and their speech, they over came it. So i wouldn't worry about it two much.
I my self is 25, very much happy with life, and what it has giving me. i have a house, a job two dogs. what more can you ask for.
Thinking of going back to college after i'm done with this Course and go back to do Counseling & Psychotherapy, i learned alot from my life maybe i can repay that to people who are finding life hard.
to finish off, i would say anyone finding it hard to cope. Maybe try some Yoga or Meditation the benefits of both are mind blowing.
just check out youtube and you find some videos. |
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Why me?
